Healing both a conflict and the underlying relations

Restorative circles

When people get involved in a conflict they cannot solve, Restorative Circles provide a special way forwards. According to their founder Dominic Barter, every house or building should have a ‘conflict room’: it should be just as normal to address conflicts with each other, as it is to eat or play together. Rather than dodging a conflict, it should be embraced, as an opportunity to learn and not loose each other unnecessarily.

Process

A Restorative Circle is facilitated by a minimum of two facilitators and consists of three phases.
To start, the person requesting a Restorative Circle -to whom something has been said or done which he/she wishes to bring into a Restorative Circle-  is heard by both facilitators. The essence is that this initiator can express himself/herself fully and feels truly understood, through the manner in which the facilitators respond. During this first meeting, the initiator may come to a deeper realization about where the essence of the conflict lies and what he/she would like the other (s) involved to hear.  The initiator indicates who else is needed to work on what happened. If he/she decides to continue, separate appointments are also held with the others involved. These meetings are called ‘pre-circles’.

The second phase consists of the Restorative Circle itself, in which all those who agree to join in, come together. The facilitators invite each person in turn to take the floor and say whatever he/she wants to be understood to that specific person, who then gives back whatever he/she understood, until the first person feels both heard and understood, then the roles are reversed. This goes on until all those participating in the Circle have been able to say what they wish and feel their message has come across. Usually there is an organic flow: first people speak about what happened, then how it affected them, why they did what they did, what they need and what they can contribute to move on.

The third phase is the ‘post-circle’, in which the participants come together again to speak with each other in the same manner about how things are at that moment in relation to what happened between them and its consequences.

Effect

During the various phases, a continuous deepening of the understanding takes place. The better people manage to tune in, the more healing occurs, also of the relation(s). But it can also provide clarity to experience what is and what is not possible.This way of working calls for great dedication and precision and has amazing outcomes. When participants meet each other on a deeper, human level, often the toughening which had occurred softens. As facilitators we have often experienced that the sting was taken out of a conflict and that people were able to carry on with a clean slate.

Restorative system

You can also anticipate. People who are connected and thus belong to a community -whether an organization, family, school, association of group of friends- can agree to initiate a Restorative Circle if they have a conflict and cannot solve it themselves. They can decide on practical arrangements: how to initiate a Restorative Circle, whom to ask to facilitate, where to hold it. Reaching such arrangements is called ‘installing a Restorative System’ within a community.

Possibilities

Would you like to experience Restorative Circles in practice?

Carla Houben received a training to facilitate Restorative Circles in Amsterdam and Geneva, has participated in the Amsterdam Practise Group for many years -and still does- and has facilitated many Restorative Circles in various communities, families, schools and organisations.

Carla
– facilitates Restorative Circus upon request
– regularly gives a two-day training  to learn how to facilitate a Restorative Circle
– facilitates upon request the installation of a Restorative System, whereby the members of a community on arrangements in case a conflict ensues in the community. A Restorative Circle may be initiated, facilitated by two people from the community who have learned how to do so.

Practise Group

After following a training, you are advised to join a Practice Group in order to internalize this way of facilitating. The different Practice Groups usually meet once every four to six weeks. After an average of 20 practice sessions, you will have sufficiënt experience to facilitaire Restorative Circles.  

Together with two colleagues, Carla leads a practise group in Amsterdam. Autumn 2019 possibly another introductory training will be given and a second practise group may be started in Amsterdam. Please send an email if you are interested in joining.

Costs

The pre-circles usually take about two hours each; the Restorative Circle 2 to 3 hours; and the post-circle 1 to 2 hours (this may vary according to each situation).

The costs for such a process involve a remuneration for the facilitators and travel and location expenses, as agreed upon. The facilitators are transparant about all their costs and take into account the participants’ ability to pay. Sometimes the participants’ contribution is determined at the end, based on insight in the costs and appreciation.

Location

The location for a Restorative Circle, a training or facilitating the installation of a Restorative System can be on location, elsewhere or at Carla’s in Amsterdam (click here), according to the situation.

Privacy Policy

For the Privacy Policy, click here.

Links

For further information, see:
www.herstelcirkels.nl
and
www.restorativecircles.org

Healing both a conflict and the underlying relations

Restorative circles

When people get involved in a conflict they cannot solve, Restorative Circles provide a special way forwards. According to the founder Dominic Barter, every house or building should have a ‘conflict room’; it should be just as normal to address conflicts with each other, as it is to eat or play together. Rather that dodging a conflict, it should be embraced, as an opportunity to learn and not loose each other unnecessarily.

Process

A Restorative Circle is facilitated by a minimum of two facilitators and consists of three phases.
To start, the person requesting a Restorative Circle -to whom something has been said or done which he/she wishes to bring into a Restorative Circle-  is heard by both facilitators. The essence is that this initiator can express himself/herself fully and feels truly understood, through the manner in which the facilitators respond. During this first meeting, the initiator may come to a deeper realization about where the essence of the conflict lies and what he/she would like the other (s) involved to hear.  The initiator indicates who else is needed to work on what happened. If he/she decides to continue, separate appointments are also held with the others involved. These meetings are called ‘pre-circles’.

The second phase consists of the Restorative Circle itself, in which all those who agree to join in, come together. The facilitators invite each person in turn to take the floor and say whatever he/she wants to be understood to that specific person, who then gives back whatever he/she understood, until the first person feels both heard and understood, then the roles are reversed. This goes on until all those participating in the Circle have been able to say what they wish and feel their message has come across. Usually there is an organic flow: first people speak about what happened, then how it affected them, why they did what they did, what they need and what they can contribute to move on.

The third phase is the ‘post-circle’, in which the participants come together again to speak with each other in the same manner about how things are at that moment in relation to what happened between them and its consequences.

Effect

During the various phases, a continuous deepening of the understanding takes place. The better people manage to tune in, the more healing occurs, also of the relation(s). But it can also provide clarity to experience what is and what is not possible.This way of working calls for great dedication and precision and has amazing outcomes. When participants meet each other on a deeper, human level, often the toughening which had occurred softens. As facilitators we have often experienced that the sting was taken out of a conflict and that people were able to carry on with a clean slate.

Restorative system

You can also anticipate. People who are connected and thus belong to a community -whether an organization, family, school, association of group of friends- can agree to initiate a Restorative Circle if they have a conflict and cannot solve it themselves. They can decide on practical arrangements: how to initiate a Restorative Circle, whom to ask to facilitate, where to hold it. Reaching such arrangements is called ‘installing a Restorative System’ within a community.

Possibilities

Would you like to experience Restorative Circles in practice?

Carla Houben received a training to facilitate Restorative Circles in Amsterdam and Geneva, has participated in the Amsterdam Practise Group for many years -and still does- and has facilitated many Restorative Circles in various communities, families, schools and organisations.

Carla
– facilitates Restorative Circus upon request
– regularly gives a two-day training  to learn how to facilitate a Restorative Circle
– facilitates upon request the installation of a Restorative System, whereby the members of a community on arrangements in case a conflict ensues in the community. A Restorative Circle may be initiated, facilitated by two people from the community who have learned how to do so.

Practise Group

After following a training, you are advised to join a Practice Group in order to internalize this way of facilitating. The different Practice Groups usually meet once every four to six weeks. After an average of 20 practice sessions, you will have sufficiënt experience to facilitaire Restorative Circles.  

Together with two colleagues, Carla leads a practise group in Amsterdam. Autumn 2019 possibly another introductory training will be given and a second practise group may be started in Amsterdam. Please send an email if you are interested in joining.

Costs

The pre-circles usually take about two hours each; the Restorative Circle 2 to 3 hours; and the post-circle 1 to 2 hours (this may vary according to each situation).

The costs for such a process involve a remuneration for the facilitators and travel and location expenses, as agreed upon. The facilitators are transparant about all their costs and take into account the participants’ ability to pay. Sometimes the participants’ contribution is determined at the end, based on insight in the costs and appreciation.

Location

The location for a Restorative Circle, a training or facilitating the installation of a Restorative System can be on location, elsewhere or at Carla’s in Amsterdam (click here), according to the situation.

Privacy Policy

For the Privacy Policy, click here.

Links

For further information, see:
www.herstelcirkels.nl
and
www.restorativecircles.org

Healing both a conflict and the underlying relations

Restorative circles

When people get involved in a conflict they cannot solve, Restorative Circles provide a special way forwards. According to the founder Dominic Barter, every house or building should have a ‘conflict room’; it should be just as normal to address conflicts with each other, as it is to eat or play together. Rather that dodging a conflict, it should be embraced, as an opportunity to learn and not loose each other unnecessarily.

Process

A Restorative Circle is facilitated by a minimum of two facilitators and consists of three phases.
To start, the person requesting a Restorative Circle -to whom something has been said or done which he/she wishes to bring into a Restorative Circle-  is heard by both facilitators. The essence is that this initiator can express himself/herself fully and feels truly understood, through the manner in which the facilitators respond. During this first meeting, the initiator may come to a deeper realization about where the essence of the conflict lies and what he/she would like the other (s) involved to hear.  The initiator indicates who else is needed to work on what happened. If he/she decides to continue, separate appointments are also held with the others involved. These meetings are called ‘pre-circles’.

The second phase consists of the Restorative Circle itself, in which all those who agree to join in, come together. The facilitators invite each person in turn to take the floor and say whatever he/she wants to be understood to that specific person, who then gives back whatever he/she understood, until the first person feels both heard and understood, then the roles are reversed. This goes on until all those participating in the Circle have been able to say what they wish and feel their message has come across. Usually there is an organic flow: first people speak about what happened, then how it affected them, why they did what they did, what they need and what they can contribute to move on.

The third phase is the ‘post-circle’, in which the participants come together again to speak with each other in the same manner about how things are at that moment in relation to what happened between them and its consequences.

Effect

During the various phases, a continuous deepening of the understanding takes place. The better people manage to tune in, the more healing occurs, also of the relation(s). But it can also provide clarity to experience what is and what is not possible.This way of working calls for great dedication and precision and has amazing outcomes. When participants meet each other on a deeper, human level, often the toughening which had occurred softens. As facilitators we have often experienced that the sting was taken out of a conflict and that people were able to carry on with a clean slate.

Restorative system

You can also anticipate. People who are connected and thus belong to a community -whether an organization, family, school, association of group of friends- can agree to initiate a Restorative Circle if they have a conflict and cannot solve it themselves. They can decide on practical arrangements: how to initiate a Restorative Circle, whom to ask to facilitate, where to hold it. Reaching such arrangements is called ‘installing a Restorative System’ within a community.

Possibilities

Would you like to experience Restorative Circles in practice?

Carla Houben received a training to facilitate Restorative Circles in Amsterdam and Geneva, has participated in the Amsterdam Practise Group for many years -and still does- and has facilitated many Restorative Circles in various communities, families, schools and organisations.

Carla
– facilitates Restorative Circus upon request
– regularly gives a two-day training  to learn how to facilitate a Restorative Circle
– facilitates upon request the installation of a Restorative System, whereby the members of a community on arrangements in case a conflict ensues in the community. A Restorative Circle may be initiated, facilitated by two people from the community who have learned how to do so.

Practise Group

After following a training, you are advised to join a Practice Group in order to internalize this way of facilitating. The different Practice Groups usually meet once every four to six weeks. After an average of 20 practice sessions, you will have sufficiënt experience to facilitaire Restorative Circles.  

Together with two colleagues, Carla leads a practise group in Amsterdam. Autumn 2019 possibly another introductory training will be given and a second practise group may be started in Amsterdam. Please send an email if you are interested in joining.

Costs

The pre-circles usually take about two hours each; the Restorative Circle 2 to 3 hours; and the post-circle 1 to 2 hours (this may vary according to each situation).

The costs for such a process involve a remuneration for the facilitators and travel and location expenses, as agreed upon. The facilitators are transparant about all their costs and take into account the participants’ ability to pay. Sometimes the participants’ contribution is determined at the end, based on insight in the costs and appreciation.

Location

The location for a Restorative Circle, a training or facilitating the installation of a Restorative System can be on location, elsewhere or at Carla’s in Amsterdam (click here), according to the situation.

Privacy Policy

For the Privacy Policy, click here.

Links

For further information, see:
www.herstelcirkels.nl
and
www.restorativecircles.org

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